What a mess! This book is virtually unreadable. There is essentially no narrative. I thought I had already read the worst book in the world until I found this book. Now I know I have. Nothing is explained. Nothing is described. It's just a bunch of sentences with little relation to anything resembling a story. I'm having trouble describing it because I couldn't even make the slightest bit of sense out of it. Please don't waste any money on this.

First, my usual disclaimer: While Dawn and I are not friends, I am acquainted with her. When I discovered she was writing a book about her experiences, I approached her to review it.

A word of warning: if you are looking for titillating details of the porn industry or John Holmes, you will be disappointed. This book is about Dawn and her ordeal as Holmes' girlfriend, not about porn, the porn industry, or Holmes' place in that. There is very little mention of it in this book, as it has very little relevance to Dawn's story. In fact, she had no idea who he was or why he was famous for some time after they met. (He was a major porn star in the 70s, for those who aren't aware of that.)

The book is quite well written, drawing the reader into the story rather quickly. It keeps the reader's interest almost effortlessly, and I would have finished it in one sitting if my schedule had allowed. I found myself deeply interested in the characters and events.

The book begins with Dawn's difficult childhood in a dangerous neighborhood in Florida, and moves through these turbulent years to her parent's divorce and the move to L.A., setting the stage for her introduction to Holmes. She goes into considerable detail about many of the milestone events which were turning points in her life and relationship with Holmes and others. While not overtly explicit, she is quite candid about her thoughts and feelings, giving the reader a deeper insight into the process of seduction in an abusive relationship.

Most of the book details her rollercoaster ride as Holmes' underage girlfriend. The reader gets to witness the cycle of abuse/romance/abuse which becomes familiar to anyone even mildly aware of the problem of abusive relationships.... Dawn's willingness to share her life this openly is very powerful, and should prove helpful for anyone caught up in this kind of relationship. Feeling alone and powerless is the cornerstone of this kind of prison, and knowing that others have escaped can be a lifesaving bit of information.

There is also an "up close and personal" look into the downward spiral of drug abuse and the way it ruins lives.

My only disappointment was with the way the book ended. I felt it was somewhat abrupt, and the way she glossed over so much of her "post-John" life in Thailand and Japan was unsatisfying. Even if that is meat for another book (I certainly hope so), I would still have liked more detail and an attempt to more overtly delineate lessons learned and the progress she has made in her personal life since that time. On the other hand, it probably would have doubled the already considerable size of the book. Still, that little bit of disappointment was not enough to keep me from giving it 5 stars.

Oh, I was also concerned about Thor, and would liked to have known more about the rest of his life.

On the whole, I liked the book, even though I am not a big fan of biographies. It is a very well written and interesting read, and I believe it will have the power to make a difference in people's lives. Dawn is quite a good writer, and I hope she continues to write.

Good job, Dawn. You should be proud of this.

I chose this book from the Amazon Vine program for a few reasons: I am a public defender who works with addicts (and recovering addicts) on a daily basis, and I recently lost a close friend to a drug overdose. I wanted to know more about how the brain functions after substance abuse, and this book did the job.

Dr. Kuhar starts the book very slowly, in a steady "Hey kids, this is what a drug is, and this is what a neuron is" style, very appropriate for a junior high health class. The complexity of the topics discussed slowly increases as Dr. Kuhar begins to bring in more sophisticated topics, like the way that different types of drugs function and the various treatment methods available to patients. There are many examples from ethical animal testing (with a good disclaimer, right from the beginning, about how and why responsible scientists use animals in experiments), and Dr. Kuhar cites a wide variety of recent medical and scientific journals, so the book really feels fresh and relevant. I was particularly struck by the developing understanding of long-term effects of drug use on the brain (a subject that is very relevant for me when it comes to crafting a request for reasonable probation conditions during a plea argument) and a surprising support for methadone (my clients tell me they are disappointed in methadone programs, which substitute a dangerous addictive substance with a less dangerous one, but Dr. Kuhar urges readers to strip the stigma from the problem by asking if anyone considers lifelong insulin injections as a failed method of treating diabetics).

Dr.... Kuhar seems to pursue a few goals with this book: introducing a layperson to the terminology and methods used by scientific/medical specialists in the field of addiction, highlighting a few areas of intense contemporary research, and shifting perceptions of addicts from a position of blame for their choices to a position of empathy for their medical conditions. While this isn't a page-turner that's likely to enthrall a wide audience, it is a book that will educate a serious reader with an interest in addiction treatment.

I chose this book from the Amazon Vine program for a few reasons: I am a public defender who works with addicts (and recovering addicts) on a daily basis, and I recently lost a close friend to a drug overdose. I wanted to know more about how the brain functions after substance abuse, and this book did the job.

Dr. Kuhar starts the book very slowly, in a steady "Hey kids, this is what a drug is, and this is what a neuron is" style, very appropriate for a junior high health class. The complexity of the topics discussed slowly increases as Dr. Kuhar begins to bring in more sophisticated topics, like the way that different types of drugs function and the various treatment methods available to patients. There are many examples from ethical animal testing (with a good disclaimer, right from the beginning, about how and why responsible scientists use animals in experiments), and Dr. Kuhar cites a wide variety of recent medical and scientific journals, so the book really feels fresh and relevant. I was particularly struck by the developing understanding of long-term effects of drug use on the brain (a subject that is very relevant for me when it comes to crafting a request for reasonable probation conditions during a plea argument) and a surprising support for methadone (my clients tell me they are disappointed in methadone programs, which substitute a dangerous addictive substance with a less dangerous one, but Dr. Kuhar urges readers to strip the stigma from the problem by asking if anyone considers lifelong insulin injections as a failed method of treating diabetics).

Dr.... Kuhar seems to pursue a few goals with this book: introducing a layperson to the terminology and methods used by scientific/medical specialists in the field of addiction, highlighting a few areas of intense contemporary research, and shifting perceptions of addicts from a position of blame for their choices to a position of empathy for their medical conditions. While this isn't a page-turner that's likely to enthrall a wide audience, it is a book that will educate a serious reader with an interest in addiction treatment.

The book begins with the author discovering a diagnosis of Tourette's Syndome, a mystery illness he had since childhood, thanks to a South Park episode. In much the same vein - quirky and tragic hilarity - the book then follows his childhood and adolescence, covering a range of problems, illnesses and addictions in a very light and humorous manner.

This author has clearly led an entertaining - albeit problematic - life, and it makes for an enthralling read. I've read a number of memoirs and often find that subjects such as mental illness and addiction are covered with a depressing and tragic narration, leading to a monotonous and melancholic read, but in this book, there is an intriguing and hilarious edge to the narration that makes for a very enjoyable read.

I really enjoyed this book and recommend it highly.

This is a good mystery that is hard to put down. The characters are interesting and deverse. Loved the surprise ending!!! Hope the author takes some of the characters from this novel and includes them in future books allowing us to get to know them, especially Amanda and Nick. The location for the plot was great since it allows the reader a chance to learn about a part of SoCal other than LA and Hollywood. I look forward to seeing what's up in her next book.

She Wasn't Allowed to Giggle by Lavinia Thompson
(Reviewed by Saewod Tice)

`She Wasn't Allowed to Giggle' is a very personal purging of Lavinia Thompson's dark abusive past. Lavinia doesn't sugar coat her words or rhyme, but leaves them with the raw emotions felt by a terrified little girl living in a woman's body. She Wasn't Allowed to Giggle broke my heart, disgusted me- because of what an abusive adult can do, and made me rejoice Lavinia's ascension from darkness.

Lavinia provides the reader journal-like entries into her past and present, while her poetry reflects her emotions. The poetry is often dark and miserable yet takes a turn to confessional and strong, giving you a real in depth look as she bares her soul.

There is no doubt in my mind that this confessional book was hard to write and even harder to put out for the public to read and judge. For an abuse survivor, that is bravery in its most epic form.

Bravo Lavinia for having the strength to tell your story.

Rating: 4/5
Recommend for 15 and older.